I've always been able to express my thoughts and feelings better with written word than with spoken word. Lately I have been feeling like I need some sort of outlet just to let everyone know that I am, in fact, still alive. (Maybe mostly to let myself know that I'm still alive.) I thought maybe this blog thing might be appropriate. So as I sit here typing this and watching my cat try to eat the head off of Nathan's Dundie Award, I'm actually starting to question if anyone will actually read this thing. I guess we'll find out.
A little update on my life is as follows:
I started back to school last week and so far I'm really enjoying it. I'm taking 15 hours this semester and I'm not working right now so it's a little stressful because I'm pretty broke, but I think it'll be worth it when I finally get finished. I'm ready to get it all over with so that I can move on to something else. Austin has been good to me for many years, but I'm beginning to feel that it's time to move forward. I just have to tie up my loose ends here first. I actually am finding myself wondering what it would be like to move back "home". I'm not sure if Clarksville even IS my home anymore, but I keep wondering if I wouldn't like to try and see what it would be like to be back there. It might be alot different if I actually had some sort of marketable skill and a place of my own. Alot changes as you grow up I've noticed. The comfort of knowing that I would be near my family almost outshines the fact that I've hated Clarksville since I was old enough to realize that I did. I've been trying to chase these feelings away for months now, but they keep springing back up. I just know that I'm here for at least another year so I'm going to have to make the best of it for now.
In other news, I adopted another dog on Sunday. His name is Winston and he's a Doberman like Freja. He's a year and a half old, red and rust in color, and the biggest, sweetest dog I have ever been around. He loves to give kisses and he loves Freja to death. They are inseperable already. I love my babies.
It's 22 days until my 24th birthday. I feel so much older than 24 in some ways, but in others I still feel like such a child. I wonder if they will ever catch up to each other so that I just feel the age that I am. I doubt it.
I've been very disappointed in people lately so I've kind of made a point to try to stay away from them. I've been spending alot more time with Tara and I'm really glad that I am. She's amazing and I love her. I've been waiting years to meet another person that I can really call my friend and now I've found her. She's one of the most caring, genuine people I've ever met. I'm so lucky that I have she and Ashley in my life. They are two of a kind, and for once I mean that in the best possible way. If more people were like the two of them, the world would be a much better place.
I got to go to Memphis and see Hollie about a month ago. I've decided that I'm in love with Memphis. I think I would pick up and move there tomorrow if I could. I would love to be closer to Hollie and be able to hang out with her more. She's one of a kind as well. I'm so blessed that my best friends are people of substance, with big hearts, that I know I can trust and count on no matter what. I've dealt with alot of shitty friends over time, but I know that everything I have been through was worth it because the ones that have stuck by me I wouldn't trade for anything.
Things are well with Nathan, although I feel sorry for him sometimes because I feel like he puts up with alot from me. He gets snapped at on a daily basis for things that he hasn't done. I'm trying to be better. He shouldn't have to be the object of my aggression. Poor thing. Nathan is wonderful and I'm so blessed to have him in my life. He's the best of everything that you could want in a person. The more I write this and reflect on the people in my life, the more I realize what a lucky person I am.
I feel like this is a pretty good start...maybe I'll like this blogging thing. Hopefully I'll use it for more than just a place to rant about things. Like I said, I guess we'll see.
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2 comments:
I love you! Can't wait to come see you!
abbi,
i really enjoyed reading this. I love reading writing from a person of your intellect. Who is opinionated, yet knows what they're talking about. And conveys their points so clearly.
Speaking of being genuine...I think you might have a little of that in you as well :)
It's nice to know what's going on with you...and that you are, indeed, still alive. congrats on your new dog!
and by the way. that'd be pretty fly if you moved back to clarksville. It's cool now; I'm here. ;)
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